One Game Dad 17: Looking Back to Future Regrets
I'm returning to work. And I hate that fact.
Not because I hate working. I want to work. I need to work. I want to write. I need to write. For my own good I need to do something constructive and engaging. But I hate the fact that I'm also putting my daughter in daycare to do so.
Daycare and the accompanying Early Childhood Development Specialists should be really good for my daughter. Because this is Finland and that means there's pride and resources put into such things. It's not just a bunch of people watching your kid, it's people who are trained in aiding and developing young children.
That's a comfort. But I still feel bad. I feel I should be with her until she's three and has to go to pre-school. Yet the truth is that I'm excited to get to work. I'm looking forward to doing something creative. Following my daughter around all day is mindnumbing in the extreme and I don't think that makes me a good dad.
I see the way she is with her mother and grandmother. How excited she is to play with them and it makes me feel that I'm lacking, that all I'm doing is seeing to her basic needs and little more. I know that isn't the case, but the shear glee she expresses at them entering our home is something I don't get. Maybe in part because I'm the everyday dad, the one who does have to ensure she gets the basics met.
Hopefully come the new year I'll be providing more than just the basics once I'm working. But more on that in the new year. That and more of The Witcher 3, which was this week's game, as usual on Twitch, Youtube, Stitcher, iHeartRadio and iTunes.